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An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual
to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in 
and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of 
them would get the job.

The day came, and as the four sat around the conference room table the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT."
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; 
it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir?" he 
asked the second man.

"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know 
that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very
popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall
there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the
pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep,
TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he
had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to Otis, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the 
same question. Old Otis replied, "After hearing the three previous 
answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said Old Otis. "You see the other day I wasn't 
feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could 
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants."

Old Otis now works at the Wal-Mart.


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[Selected by Jim Griffith@rec.humor.funny]

A day without coffee is like night - you sleep right through it.