A French girl was very despondent over a sad love affair, so she went to the banks of the Seine and jumped in. A man passing saw her jump in so he dove in after her and pulled her out. But she was already dead. Oh, she'd taken off all her clothes-she was nude. So he ran to get a gendarme. In the meantime, another Frenchman came along and he saw this girl lying nude on the banks of the Seine so he ran up and started making advances. And since she didn't seem to resist him, he started to make love to her. In the meantime, the other Frenchman came back with the policeman and he said, "Monsieur, monsieur, stop, stop, she's dead." And the man jumps and says, "Oh, sacrebleu, I thought she was American." The Russian woman: "Romanov, this night we have created a perfect being for the party." The German woman: "Hans, this night we have created a perfect being." The French woman: "Rene, you know a lot about love, but you still have more to learn." The English woman: "What did you say your name was?" The Spanish woman: "Come on, Pepe, get out of bed. We have to go to the two o'clock (am.) mass." When Billy Graham sang "All l Want is Jesus," five thousand people joined the Protestant church. When Pope Pius sang "Ave Maria," ten thousand people joined the Catholic church. When Pat Boone sang "There's a Gold Mine in the Sky," one hundred thousand Jews joined the Air Force. Jesus Saves: Moses Invests. Have you heard the Jewish football yell that goes: "Get that quarter back!"? How do they take a census in Israel? They roll a nickel down the street. God comes down to a Babylonian one day. He says, "Say, l have a commandment; I'd like to give it to you." And the Babylonian says, "Well, what is it?" "Thou shalt not steal." And the Babylonian says, "Well, no thanks." So God went over to an Egyptian and offered him the same deal. And when the Egyptian heard it, he said, "No thanks." And then God met Moses and God said, "l have a commandment for you." And Moses said, `Well, how much is it going to cost me?" "Nothing." And Moses says, "I'll take ten." A Protestant, a black, and a Jew die and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says to the Protestant, "What do you want?" The Protestant answers, Nice food, a nice pasture, and some nice sheep. St. Peter then asks the black what he wants. He says, "A big flashy Cadillac, a million dollars, and a big white house." St. Peter then asks the Jew what he wants and the Jew replies, "All you got to give me is a suitcase full of trinkets and the address of that black." What did Mr. Mink give Mrs. Mink for Christmas? A full-length Jew. Two Jewish women meet on the street, one with children. The other says, "Such beautiful children how old are they?" The doctor is seven and the lawyer is five." There is a little Jewish lady running along the seashore yelling, "Help, help, my son, the doctor, is drowning." What is the definition of a C.P.A. (Certified Public Accountant)? It's a Jewish boy who can't stand the sight of blood and who stutters. In a crowded theater, a Jewish lady trips and falls downstairs. In mortal pain and half dying, she screams, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Finally, a man comes over and says, "Yes, Madam, I'm a doctor." "Doctor, I have a young daughter who is of marriage- able age." Two Jewish women are walking along, and one says, "Ach, my sonÑ he gives me both sorrow and pleasure." So her friend asks her, "How does he give you sorrow?" And she says, "He's a homosexual." So her friend asks, "How does he give you pleasure?" And she says, "He's going with a doctor.'' Did you hear about the Jewish girl who accidentally married the Good Humor man? (Good Humor men are ice cream vendors in the streets. They normally wear white uniforms, somewhat similar to the white hospital coats worn by doctors.) Why do Jews have big noses? Air is free. Do you know what happened to the pregnant Jewish woman who took Thalidomide? She had [gave birth to] a ten-pound nose. Once upon a time there was a little Jewish girl, and her name was Little Red Rosenthal. Little Red Rosenthal lived at the edge of the woods with her mother. One day Little Red Rosenthal's boubie [grandmother] was sick. So Little Red Rosenthal's mother gave Little Red Rosenthal a basket with pchaw, kishka, sup mit kreplach, and shtrudel for Little Red Rosenthal to take to her boubie. Her mother told her to be very careful of the wolf and not to talk with him and to go straight to her grandmother's house. On the way Little Red Rosenthal met the wolf and he said, "Darling, ver are you goin'? I`m going to take this basket of food to my boubie," she replied, and went on her way. The wolf went ahead, straight to the boubie's house and ate up the boubie. When Little Red Rosenthal got to her boubie's house she knocked on the door, "Kom in." said the wolf. "Boubie! What big ears you have!" "The better to hear your beautiful voice mit, my dear." "Boubie! What big eyes you have!" "The better to look on you mit, my dear!" "Boubie! What a big nose you have!" "You should talk!" One day during the time when Babe Ruth was the hero of every boy in America, little Bennie came running in to his grandfather and excitedly yelled, `Grandfather, grandfather, Babe Ruth just hit his sixtieth home run." His grandfather gave him a long, somber look and acidly replied, "So, how's this going to help the Jews?" A young Jewish couple from New York decides they want to go to Florida for a vacation, but the hotel they want to stay at is restricted. ("Restricted" means that Jews are not welcome and that the clientele is supposedly restricted to white Christians.) The man tells his wife he thinks it will work out and they will be able to stay at the hotel just as long as she doesn't open her mouth, because nobody will know they are Jewish. So they make the trip, and everything goes just fine. They check into the hotel, and the wife never opens her mouth. They go up to their room and pretty soon the wife decides she would like to take a swim. The husband tells her to go ahead but reminds her not to say anything. So she goes down to the pool for her swim. She sticks her toe into the water and it is just terribly cold, and she yells out, "Oi vey!" Then, looking around horrified, she adds, "Wat ever dat means." Perhaps the best examples of the Jew's unsuccessful attempts to renounce his heritage are found in the large number of Jewish- Christian jokes. The idea is essentially that a Jew cannot convert to Christianity, however much he may try. Do you know the one about the little old devout Orthodox Jew who decides in the latter part of his life to turn to Catholicism? Well, the Catholic church is so delighted, because this is wonderful propaganda for the universal appeal of the church, and they invite him to speak at the next congregation. So the little Jew gets up and says, "Fellow goyim...." "Goyim" is a humorous, disparaging Jewish term for non-Jews or gentiles. Many Jewish jokes end with the utterance of this term. The point in the above joke is that the Jew, even when supposedly converted, cannot do other than consider the Catholics as goyim Ñ as members of the outgroup, as opposed to the Jewish in-group. Here's another example of a "goyim"joke that serves as a pro- Jewish story, thereby reinforcing group solidarity. The Israelis decide to make a huge bell by melting down all the guns used on the Gaza strip, and there going to send this bell to be rung on the day of the Pope's coronation in St. Peter's Square. So on the day of the coronation, the Pope gets up and says what a glorious tribute this is to brotherhood, and soon, and there is great anticipation; and he turns to the monk who is waiting to ring the bell. The monk pulls the cord and the bell rings out "Goyimmmm." The following tale offers one of the finest comments on the practical reasons for converting from Judaism to Christianity, coupled with an editorial judgment as to the ultimate sham of such an attempt. There was this Jewish man who moved to an all- Catholic neighborhood. And he couldn't make a friend because of his religion. What's more, everybody hated him because on Friday night, when everyone would cook fish, this man would cook chicken and the neighborhood would reek with the smell of chicken. So finally this Jew decides to give in to the social pressures exerted on him, and he decides to become a Catholic. So he goes to the church, and he tells the priest that he wants to convert. So the priest says, "Fine. All you do is cross yourself every time you see someone and say, `Once a Jew, now a Catholic,' and be sure to follow all the laws, and come to church and eventually you'll become a Catholic." So the man goes around crossing himself saying, "Once a Jew, now a Catholic" and he goes to church. And soon he has a lot of friends. But he still cooks chicken on Friday nights, and no one can figure out why. So the neighbors report the fellow to the priest. And one day the priest visits the exJew, and he tells him that he has heard that he was still cooking chicken on Friday. And the Jew denies this. No matter how much proof the priest presents, the exJew still will not admit that he cooked chicken on Friday. So the priest says, "Okay, I'll believe you." And the following Friday the priest decides to go over to the new convert's house. And as he approaches the house, he can smell chicken cooking. So he asks himself what's going on and he decides to peek in the kitchen window and see if the man is cooking chicken. And he looks in the window. Here's the ex-Jew standing over a pot, cooking a chicken. And he's crossing the chicken saying, "Once a chicken, now a fish." The point is, of course, that the Jew has become a good Catholic only to the extent that a chicken can become a fish! Clearly the Jew uses the magic conversion formula strictly as a practical measure. If a Jew converts, argues the stereotype, there must be an eminently practical and pressing reason for it, and in any case, the conversion does little to alter the essentialJewishness of the individual. This is also illustrated in the following story: A devoutly religious Jew is on his deathbed. His family clusters around to hear his last wish. To their surprise, he asks them to send for a priest. They are shocked and ask if he means a rabbi. No, he wants a priest, he insists. Despite their dismay, the family obeys the command and sends for a priest, who converts the old Jew and administers the last rites according to the requirements of Catholicism. After the priest leaves, the family rushes in to demand an explanation. Why, after living his whole life as a religious Jew, did he now suddenly at the very end convert to Catholicism? His answer: "Better one of them should die than one of us!" The failure of conversion attempts is also featured in jokes about the Christian nuclear family of the New Testament. The Jewish origin of Christianity is stressed, often by noting that Jesus was a Jew. What happened in A.D. 13? Jesus was "bar mitzvahed." The following text also demonstrates the nature of "Jewish origin of Christianity" jokes. This lady went down to a restricted hotel in Miami. She went up to the manager and said, "Podden me, so I'd like to have a small room." The manager said, "Sorry, all our rooms are taken." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "Isn't that vundertul," she said, "now l can have a room. The manager said, "Look here, l don't want you to think l am prejudiced or anything, but we don't allow Jews in this hotel." "That's O.K., l don't happen to be Jewish. I'm Catholic." "No! I can't believe it," the manager said. "I'm telling you, I'm Catholic." "Do you know your catechism, then?" "I'm knowing my catechism." "Who's the son of God?" "Who's the son of God? Jesus son of Mary." "Do you know how he happened to be born in a stable?" "Soitenly, nu, a son of a bitch like you wouldn't give a Jew a room." In modern American society, however, Jews fear that they may be losing their identity. This loss of identity may be caused by successful Conversions to Christianity or by Jews marrying non- Jews. Thus the following text contains not only the "Jewish origin of Christianity" theme, but also the fear that Christianity may be replacing Judaism: A Jewish man is very disturbed when his son comes home from college on vacation and tells him that he is converting to Christianity. The man rushes to tell his neighbor about it and the neighbor says, "Strange you should mention that. My boy also came home from college and he also converted to Christianity." The two men commiserate and try to think of what they should do. They decide to see the rabbi. They tell the rabbi their problem and the rabbi says, "Strange you should mention that. My son also came home from college and converted." Now the men are really upset. They ask the rabbi what to do. He decides there is only one thing to do. They must all go down to the temple and pray to God. They pray to God and tell Him of their troubles. Suddenly they see a flash of lightning and hear a crack of thunder and a booming voice rings out, "Strange you should mention that." A final trait in the stereotype concerns the antipathy to intermarriage. Jews are endogamous and there is often resistance to the idea of a Jew marrying a non-Jew. Here is a classic example. There's this girl from a very Orthodox Jewish background and she goes away to school. One day she phones up her mother and says, "Mom, I'm getting married." And so the mother says, "Mazel Tov, my dear.Congratulations." So the daughter says, "But Mama, he's not Jewish." So the mother says, "`That's all right, dear, I'm sure he's a nice boy, you picked him out, he's a nice boy." So the daughter says, "Another thing about him, Mom. He's black." So she says, "VeIl, you picked him out. I'm sure he's a fine boy. I'm sure he's got a fine job." So the daughter says, "Well, about the job, Mother. He doesn't have one." So the mother says, "VeIl, he's a good boy, he'll get a good job." Then the mother asks, "Ver are you going to live?" So the daughter says, "Well, uh, Mom, that's what I called about. We were wondering if we could stay with you." So the mother says, "That's vunderful, daughter, you can stay with us. Your father will sleep on the couch and you and your husband can take the bedroom." So the daughter says, "But where are you going to sleep, Ma?" So the mother says, "Don't worry about me, as soon as l hang up I'm going to drop dead." (An alternate punch line is: "Don't worry about me, but would you mind turning off the gas when you come in.") The double standard of the intermarriage problem is also the subject of stereotyping. The Jewish girl must marry a Jewish boy, but the Jewish boy is more free to marry a gentile girl. This is made clear by the following text. A Jewish girl brings home a shagits (non-Jewish boy) whom she wants to marry. And she introduces him to her father. And the father asks, "Is he Jewish?" And she says, "No, Dad." He says, "l will never permit my daughter to marry a shagits." So they have a conference about it and the boy says, "Well, look, Dad, supposin' l converted. I'm perfectly willing to go through the ritual to be converted into Judaism. I'm in love with your daughter and l want to marry her." The father said, "Well, that's different." So the boy goes through the whole business. He's circumcised; he goes through the whole ritual. And when they're ready for the wedding, the daughter falls out of love with him. She says she doesn't want to marry him. So the boy comes rushing to the girl's father and he says, "You know, Dad, l did everything l could possibly do. l agreed to become a Jew and l did. I've been circumcised and now your daughter doesn't love me any more and she won't marry me. What shall l do?" The father says, "Marry a schicksaf [non-Jewish girl] like the other Jewish boys." The father's inconsistency is obvious. He insists that his daughter marry a Jewish boy, but he recognizes the tendency for Jewish boys to marry gentile girls. The girl is clearly intrigued by the prospect of marrying a non-Jew, for when the latter becomes a Jew she is no longer interested. Loss of identity through Christianization or intermarriage is a genuine concern of the Jewish community in the United States; thus, it comes as no surprise to see such anxieties expressed in folklore. These latter jokes are probably told more by Jews than non-Jews, but almost all of the above texts are in fact told both by Jews and nonjews. Whether one takes offense at an ethnic slur depends oil the identity of the teller and of the audience. SomeJews take offense it ethnic slurs regardless of whether the raconteur is Jewish or not. Others enjoy the slurs en famille, but would resent them if related by a person they considered to be an anti-Semitic gentile. There is an endless amount of Jewish humor. The present sampling is merely to delineate various features of the stereotype of the Jew in American folklore. The principal traits are obvious enough: the concern with money, trade, status, professionalism; the large nose; the undesirability and, in fact, impossibility, of renouncing one's ethnic identity as a Jew; a prideful consciousness of the Judaic elements of Chistianity; and a fear for the loss of ethnic identity through conversion to Christianity or through marriage with gentiles. Much of the stereotype has existed for some time in the United States, not to mentioi, other parts of the world. The point here is that there is a fairly eonsistent, composite stereotypic picture ofthejew. Most of the traits in question are not attributed to other national or ethnic groups, although sometimes one trait may be, as in the stinginess slur: What's the difference between a Jew (Scotsman) and a canoe? A canoe tips? But it is important to note that the particular combination of stereotypic traits is unique. Thus, while both Jews and Scotsmen are alleged to be unusually stingy, this may be the only trait the two stereotypes share. Scotsmen are not said to have large noses and are not depicted as being particularly anxious to become doctors, for example. There was even a psychological experiment in which jokes about Jews and their supposed stinginess were transformed intojokes about Scots and the same trait. Jewish subjects continued to find the jokes less humorous than gentile subjects.10 It is also worth noting that not ill of the stereotypic traits "recorded" in folklore are reported in the psychologists' studies of stereotypes. As a final test of the specificity of the multitrait ethnic slur stereotype, l will contrast the Jewish traits with those of the Polack, is found in recent popular cycle of ethnic slurs. Polackjokes have been noted by folklorists and by the mass media. The fact that some of the jokes told about Polacks in the midwestern section of the United States are the same told about Italians or Puerto Ricans in the eastern states suggests that we may have nothing more than a "lower-class" stereotype that can be applied equally well to any immigrant group registering low on the social scale at any given moment. Nevertheless, the fact that the American cycle of Polack slurs has similar traits to those found in European (especially German) stereotypes of Polish people (stereotypes reported some years ago) suggests that there may be some continuity in Polack ethnic slurs in particular. Here, at any rate, are some of the dominant traits. 1. The Polacks are poor. Why is the Polish suicide rate so low? Did you ever try jumping out of a basement window? What's a Polish barbeque? A fire in a garbage can. What is a description of a Polish funeral? Ten garbage trucks with their lights on. How do you describe Polish matched luggage? Two shopping bags from Sears. What is a Polish vacation? Sitting on someone else's steps. 2. The Polacks are dirty. Why aren't Polacks allowed to swim in Lake Michigan? Because they leave a ring. Why did the Polish couple get married in the bathtub? They wanted a double-ring ceremony. How do you get 86 Polacks in a Volkswagen? Throw in a nickel. How do you get Polacks out of a Volkswagen? Throw in a bar of soap. The first of these joking questions could conceivably fit the stereotype of the Jew, but the second, related, part would not. Where do Polacks hide their money? Under the soap. Do you know how to get a Polack out of a bathtub? Turn on the water. 3. Polacks are stupid. The teller of this joke puts his left hand behind his head. He puts his right hand perpendicular to his face and above his eyes, as if looking for something. Then he asks, What's this? A Polack looking for his left hand. In another charadelike slur, the narrator covers his eyes with his left hand and stomps the ground wildy with his right foot and asks, What's this? A Polack looking for land mines. In others, the body movement is found in the answer rather than the question. How does a Polack tie his shoe? He puts one foot up on a chair and ties the shoe on the foot on the floor (instead of the one in the chair). Why do Polacks have hunched shoulders and sloping foreheads? Because every time you ask them a question, they go... (gesture of shrugging their shoulders, indicating they don't know the answer) and every time you tell them the answer, they go... (gesture striking the forehead with the palm of the hand indicating "Of course, how stupid l am"). Reminiscent of gesture is the statement that Polish mothers are strong and square-shouldered from raising dumbbells. Why does a Polack wear a hat while taking a crap? So he'll know which end to wipe. Did you hear about the Polack who was asked if he would like to become a Jehovah's Witness? He said he couldn't because he didn't see the accident. Definition of a cad: A Polack who doesn't tell his wife he's sterile until after she's pregnant. Did you hear about the lazy Polack? He married a pregnant woman. What is the definition of gross ignorance? One hundred and forty-four Polacks. (A gross is, or course, twelve dozen.) Did you hear about the Polish space scientists who're planning to land a man on the sun? When asked if the sun's heat would burn him up, they replied they had thought of that and they were going to land him at night. Why did the Polack lose his job as an elevator operator? He couldn't learn the route. Did you hear about the Polack racing driver who entered the Indianapolis 500? He came in last and he made 14 pit stops, four for repair and maintenance and ten to ask directions. What's this? (A piece of paper, on the left side of which is written the word "in" with an arrow pointing from left to right. On the right side is written the word "out" and there is also an arrow pointing from left to right.) Answer: A Polish maze. How do you keep a Polack busy? Give him this. (A square of paper on both sides of which is written, "Please turn over.") Do you know why they don't give Poles a coffee break? It takes too long to retrain them. What is stamped at the bottom of Coca Cola bottles in Poland? "Please open other end." What has an IQ of 300? Poland. 4. Polacks are inept. How did the Polack get 35 holes in his head? Trying to learn to eat with a fork. A woman ran into a police station yelling, "Help, I've been raped by a Polack." The officer said, "How do you know he was a Polack?" She said, "Because l had to help him." A Polack and an Irishman were out hunting when a beautiful naked girl ran by. The Irishman yelled, "Hey lass, are you game?" She replied, "Yes." So the Polack shot her. (The Irishman meant "game" in the sense of "willing to be daring, that is, in terms of sexuality"; the Polack understood "game" in the sense of the object of hunting.) Did you hear about the Polish fish? It drowned. 5. Polacks are vulgar, boorish, and tasteless. What is a Polack's biggest decision before attending a formal dance? Whether to wear red or green socks. The Polack was asked in a political discussion, "What would you do with Red China?" He said he would put it on a purple tablecloth. How do you tell the bride at a Polish wedding? She's the one with the clean T-shirt (or with the sequins on her tennis shoes, or with braided armpits). How do you tell the difference between the bride and the groom at a Polish wedding? The groom is the one with the finger in his nose. How do you break a Polack's finger? Punch him in the nose. What do you find when you turn a Polack's nose inside out? Fingerprints. What happens to a Polack who picks his nose? His head collapses. Why do Poles go around with their initials written on the backs of their hands? They want to have monogrammed handkerchiefs. How do you kill a Polack? Hit him on the head with the toilet seat while he is taking a drink of water. There seem to be a large number of jokes associating Polacks with feces, such as, How do you brainwash a Polack? Give him an enema. Why do Polacks carry a piece of shit in their wallets? For identification. These Polack ethnic slurs should illustrate the nature of the stereotype. There are, of course, many others, although they do not demonstrate any consistent trait: What's the difference between a Polack wedding and a Polack funeral? One less drunk. Who won the Polack beauty contest? Nobody. Why do Poles learn English? So they can read Joseph Conrad in the original. Did you hear about the Polish heart transplant? The heart rejected the body. Did you hear about the breakthrough in Polish medicine? They transplanted an appendix. It should be obvious that the most common stereotypic features of poverty, dirtiness, stupidity, ineptness, and vulgarity are not to be found in the stereotype of the Jew. By the same token, the principal mercenary and status-seeking elements of the Jewish stereotype are not to be found to any great extent in the Polack stereotype. Interestingly enotigh, the folk has its own comparison of the Jew and Polack stereotypes. One version of the common, What are the three shortest books in the world? has the answer: 'Italian War Heroes', 'Jewish Business Ethics', and 'The Polish Mind'. A similar contrast is afforded by the following cross-breed riddles: What do you get when you cross a black with a Polack? A retarded janitor. (Here we find the Polish trait of low mental ability coupled with a menial occupational trait of the black stereotype.) What do you get when you cross a black with a Jew? You still get a janitor, but he owns the building. One possible reason for the popularity of the Polack (or Italian) joke cycle is that it takes the heat off the black. Lower-class whites are not militant and do not constitute a threat to middle- class white America. White jokes involving stereotypes of blacks had to become more and more disguised, as overt "Rastus and Liza" jokes yielded to elephant jokes and "colored" riddles involving (g)rapes. With the Polack cycle, it is the lower class, not blacks, that provides the outlet for aggression and the means of feeling superior. The examples make it quite clear that the folk do differentiate stereotypes. While there will always be floating slurs or numskull tales that may be attached to almost any group, there are also definite constellations or clusters of character traits contained in folk stereotypes. Despite the clearcut pejorative cast of nearly all the ethnic slurs, most of the slurs are told and enjoyed by members of the group concerned. Jews help perpetuate the stereotype of the Jew and, perhaps to a lesser extent, Polish-Americans tell Polack jokes. This may be partly because ethnic slurs are part of ethnic identity. While many may protest that the slurs are nothing but false caricatures, they may secretly take pleasure in the fact that their group is vital enough to stimulate such traditions. Then again, it is also possible that the stereotypes may have some basis in ethnographic fact. lfJews are at all materialistic, do stress family solidarity, and are ambitious in terms of the careers of their children, then these slurs reinforce the group's value system. Whether the stereotypes are accurate or not, they exist. And it may be very important to know what a group thinks it is like, just as it is important to know what other groups think a group is like. These traditional self-images and images held by other groups may even be more important than how the group actually is. If a fat boy believes that fat boys are jolly or if he thinks that other people think that fat boys are jolly, then he may force himself to play a jolly role. This is why the study of group images is essential. If so, then to the extent that such images are transmitted and perpetuated by folklore, the task of analysis definitely falls within the province of the professional folklorist. No doubt some will argue that the study of ethnic slurs may serve no other purpose than to increase the circulation of such slurs and by so doing unwittingly assist the rise of further ethnic and racial prejdice. However, a more realistic view would be that the slurs are used by the folk whether the folklorist studies them or not. Most children in the United States hear these slurs fairly early in their public school careers. Therefore, an open discussion of the slurs and an objective analysis of the stereotypes they contain can do no harm and might possibly do a great deal of good in fighting bigotry and prejudice. Only by knowing and recognizing folk stereotypes can children be taught to guard against them, so that they may better judge individuals on in individual basis. __________ *Polack" is, in and of itself, an ethnic slur, offensive to Polish-Americans. It belongs to the same set of demeaning terms as nigger, canuck, kike, dago, and wop. l decided to use it primarily because it is the term of choice in the joke cycle about the alleged characteristics of Polish-Americans. For a discussion of such terms, see Irving Lewis Allen, "The Language of Ethnic Conflict: Social Organization and Lexical Culture" (New York: Columbia University Press, 1983).