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10. A "baby monitor." Makes those closed door meetings easier to hear.

9. A pregnancy test kit with a positive result and an unsigned note 
   saying, "I told you that damn condom ripped."

8. Put a piece of tape on the underside of his mouse. 
   That way the ball doesn't roll and it will take the jerk and the 
   IT department all day to figure it out.

7. 32 beepers, all stashed in different places. 
   Borrow them from managers who are forced to wear them 24 hours a day. 
   Page a different beeper every 15 minutes. This works especially well 
   if you also switch his morning decaf with espresso.

6. First, simply hide pot seeds and watch as your clueless boss waters 
   and nutures the plants daily. Second, watch as boss is escorted out 
   of the building three months later by security.

5. Thong, lace bra the morning after the company Christmas party.

4. Nonchalantly drop lingerie and then kick it under the front of his 
   desk (where he can't see it, but visitors can) early in the morning 
   before an important meeting. Then, during the meeting, stare 
   quizzically at the floor under his desk.

3. A memo from Accounting Department requesting a meeting to review his 
   recent purchases on the company credit card?

2. An open and empty condom wrapper.

1. A stained dress.  


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[Contributed by Peter Saal]

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.