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I was buying a 10kg bag of Eukanuba dog food the other day, and standing
in line at the checkout this woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her "no", I was starting "The Eukanuba Diet" again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the
last time, but that I'd lost 22 kilos before I awakened in an intensive 
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both 
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that 
it works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat 
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally 
complete, so I was going to try it again. 

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now 
enthralled with my story, particularly another guy who was behind her.  

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition 
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been 
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so 
hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch... why else would I be buying dog food??






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[Text contributed by Peter Woods]

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.