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· Did you fart, 'cos you blew me away!

· Are your parents retarded, 'cos you sure are special?

· My love for you is like diarrhoea ... I just can't hold it in!

· Do you have a library card, 'cos I'd like to sign you out...

· Is there a mirror in your pants, 'cos I can see myself in them?

· If you and I were squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

· You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
  light switch away.

· Man: Fat Penguin!
  Woman: WHAT?
  Man: I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

· I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I'm sure I could make your bed rock!

· I can't seem to find my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he 
  went into this cheap motel room...

· Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

· If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the 
  afternoon.

· Your face reminds me of a spanner, 'cos time I think of it my nuts
  tighten up!


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[Contributed by Rufus Blairgowrie]

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!