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A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well 
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he 
could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on 
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Attorney: "Have you any grounds?"

Pole: "Ja, Ja, acre and half, and nice little home."

Attorney: "No, I mean... what is the foundation of this case?"

Pole: "Is made of concrete."

Attorney: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

Pole: "No, we have carport, not need garage."

Attorney: "I mean, what are your relations like?"

Pole: "All my relations still in Poland."

Attorney: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

Pole: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

Attorney: Does your wife beat you up?"

Pole: "No, I always up before her."

Attorney: "Is your wife a nagger?"

Pole: "No, she white."

Attorney: "So why do you want this divorce?"

Pole: "She going to kill me."

Attorney: "Really? What makes you think that?"

Pole: "I got proof.

Attorney: "What kind of proof?"

Pole: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put 
on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
 

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[Contributed by Tom Kikonyogo]