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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run 
over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is
cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little bastard, O'Conner," says Sean, "he couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible 
lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have 
something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
it was, but useless in a fight."


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[Contributed by Peter Woods]

...cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.