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Alfa

Passionate and romantic, you fancy yourself as a wild sex kitten. A 
bit unreliable, and can be eccentric too. You hate BMW drivers, but 
think and act just like them.


Audi

You would like to believe you are part of the new generation that
is caring, environmentally conscious and family-orientated. Actually,
quite boring, nothing more than a glorified wuss. Will one day probably 
drive a Merc, but you still sometimes wonder if you shouldn't have 
bought that Beemer.


BMW

Self-centred, ambitious, dynamic and assertive. Buppies and kugels 
past sell-by date. You think you will be CEO one day. Actually an office 
weenie who thinks you are God's gift.


Daewoo

Faceless, subservient and demure (except for Matiz drivers).
To you, a good deal is to work from nine to five, get nothing for it, 
and still say thank you. And then you wonder why you don't have money 
for a good time after hours.


Ford

You still live in the 70's, trying to cope with the new the millennium.
A loyal, diligent worker, but baffled by office politics and labour
policies. Next car will probably also be a Ford.


Honda

You aspire to drive a BMW. You are an opinionated pain-in-the-butt.
The ultimate suffragette, or the boss's girlfriend (male or female!)


Hyundai

Quite progressive, intelligent and practical. But misguided. The kind 
of person who will suggest a subcommittee to find solutions to what the
committee couldn't. You will always maintain that this Korean car is 
better than any Japanese model.


Jeep

You would like to believe you are living the American dream and 
just love the great outdoors. The closest you get to it is by watching 
"Days of Our Lives" and the "Adventure Channel".


Range Rover

You are a designer person with a designer life, who always pays too
much for everything. Designer mud comes free with the badge. And if
it's a Freelander, it was probably a break-up gift from your ex.


Mazda

A Ford driver with more money. Mostly staid boring farts with no image
and less imagination.


Mercedes-Benz

Responsible, immaculate and conservative. Boring CEO clones with too
much money, or the office super-geek who can't remember what it's like
to have fun. Definitely not dating material.


Nissan

Good, solid, responsible, loyal office-fodder. 
You like to travel and maintain that you can sell ice to the Eskimos. 
Favourite answer: "It's a company car."


Opel

Wannabe Schumachers. Would like a Corolla, but fell for the bumf about
German engineering. Always in a rush, but never get anything done.


Pajero

Not as label-conscious as your Range Rover counterpart, but still
suckered into believing in the ultimate African adventure. You drive 
through puddles to create your own designer mud. You believe you've 
made the grade, but everyone else knows you've got a long way to go.


Renault

An eccentric who likes doing things the wrong way around. Usually the
one who asks all the silly questions at staff meetings. You fervently
believe you have flair, but it's less than that of a French cookbook.


Ssangyong

A make-believe fool, because you'd like a Pajero but can't afford it.


Toyota

A sensible, organised conformist who keeps things going in a company. 
You lose it when things go wrong, and can't be depended on when some 
imagination is needed. Your next car is always going to be "something 
fun" but without fail it ends up being a Toyota.


Volkswagen

As per Toyota, only one level higher. You experience uncertainty, 
because you don't know whether you own a rebodied Audi or not. You 
are not good at decision making.


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[From the archives]

The easiest way to make your old car run better 
is to check the price of new cars.