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	How Not To Die: The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
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Attila the Hun:

One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had 
conquered all of Asia by 450 AD -- from Mongolia to the edge of the 
Russian Empire -- by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.

How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night!

In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his 
reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink 
lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really
cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night
he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. 

He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.





Tycho Brahe:

An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century, his ground-breaking
research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.

How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time!

In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet 
table before the meal was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had 
a bladder condition -- but failed to relieve himself before the banquet
started. He made matters worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was
too polite to ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst, killing him
slowly and painfully over the next 11 days.





Horace Wells:

An American dentist, he pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s.

How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide!

Whilst experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research, 
Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying
two women with sulfuric acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed
chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten high before the
attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. 

He had anesthetised himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh 
with a razor.





Francis Bacon:

One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century, Sir Bacon 
was a statesman, a philosopher, a writer, a scientist, and a pederast. 
He was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays.

How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken!

One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck 
by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat
in the same way that salt was used. Determined to find this out, he 
purchased a chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and then, whilst
standing outside in the snow, attempted to stuff the chicken full of 
snow in order to freeze it. 

The chicken never froze, but Bacon did. He died of pneumonia days later.





Jerome Irving Rodale:

He was a founding father of the organic food movement, the creator of 
"Organic Farming and Gardening" magazine, and founder of Rodale Press,
a major publishing corporation.

How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while discussing the benefits
of organic foods!

Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be 100 unless I'm run down 
by a sugar-crazed taxi driver", was only 72 when he appeared on the 
"Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971. Part way through the interview, he
dropped dead in his chair. 

Cause of death: heart attack. The show was never aired.





Aeschylus:

A Greek playwright, many historians consider him the father of Greek 
tragedies.

How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head!

According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempted to crack 
them open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head 
for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead in 456 BC.





Jim Fixx:

Author of the best selling "The Complete Book of Running", he started
the jogging craze of the 1970s.

How he died: A heart attack... while jogging!

Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house
and began jogging. He'd only gone a short distance when he had a massive
coronary. His autopsy revealed that one of his coronary arteries was
99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was 70% blocked by
cholesterol... and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks 
prior to his death.





Jean-Baptiste Lully:

One of our favorite 16th-century composers, he wrote music for 
King Louis XIV of France.

While conducting a melody in honour of the king's recent recovery from
illness, he got a too excited beating time with his staff and drove it 
right through his foot. He died of infection three months later.


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