His and her definitions



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THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female:  Any part under a car's hood.
Male:    The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

LESBIAN (lez-bi-an) n.
Female:  A woman who makes love to other women.
Male:    A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get
         really turned on.

GLASS CEILING (glass see-ling) n.
Female:  The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the 
         upper levels in business.
Male:    What would really be great at work since that hot babe took 
         over the office one flight up.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female:  Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male:    Playing ball without a cup.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female:  The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male:    Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend
         with the guys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufacturer makes 
        look bigger.
Male:   The organ of mooning (and farting).

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female:  A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male:    Not trying to pick up any other women while out with one's 
         girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female:  A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male:    Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female:  An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male:    An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male 
         bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female:  The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male:    What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female:   A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male:     A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.

TASTE (tayst) v.
Female:  Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to 
         make sure it's good.
Male:    Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, 
         prior to tossing it out.


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[From the archives]

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife 
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.