APPLICATION
FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name
of Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband:
I
request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Time
of return
Date: Time of
departure: NOT to exceed:
Should
permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated
below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with
other women. I shall not even speak to
another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn
off my cell phone after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume
of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver
of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to
go out, my girlfriend/fiancι/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me
the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol
allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total
Location: From: To: Location: From: To: Location: From: To:
Locations
to be visited
Females
with whom conversation
is
permitted
IMPORTANT
STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I
promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or
exotic dancer. Violation of this
Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I
acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree its not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates
& flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever
you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a concert/movie of your
choice, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will
not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions
with same. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in
the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile
breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the
best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed
- Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband:
|
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This
decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at
all times.
"
Permission for my
boyfriend/fiancι/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: Time of
departure: Time
of return:
Signed
Girlfriend/Fiancι/Wife: