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THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

- A dog's parents will never visit you.
- A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
- A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
- A dog never expects you to telephone.
- A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
- A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
- A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
- A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
- The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
- A dog does not shop.





HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

- Both take up too much space on the bed.
- Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
- Both mark their territory.
- Neither tells you what's bothering them.
- The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
- Neither do any dishes.
- Both fart shamelessly.
- Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
- Both like dominance games.
- Both are suspicious of the postman.
- Neither understands what you see in cats.





HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you're gone.
- Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs admit when they're jealous.
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs do not play games with you- - except fetch (and they
  never laugh at how you throw.)
- You can train a dog.
- Dogs are easy to buy for.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
  (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but 
  there's a vaccine and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
- Dogs understand what "no" means.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.





WHAT IS A DOG?

- Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece 
  of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening half a block away,
  but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
- They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
- They growl when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They are great at begging.
- They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to kiss you.

Conclusion: They're little men in fur coats...





WHAT IS A CAT?

- Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They're totally unpredictable.
- They whine when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They're moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
- They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats...


...which explains why we can "fight like cat & dog!"


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[From the archives]

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See also: Why dogs are better than wives