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 1. I'll swallow it all... love the taste.
 2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
 3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
 4. Shouldn't you be down at the pub with your mates?
 5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
 6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes in the house.
 7. You're so sexy with a hangover.
 8. I'd rather play Grand Theft Auto than go shopping.
 9. Let's start subscribing to Penthouse.
10. Would you like to see a video of me going down on my girlfriend?
11. I think belching is really sexy.
12. Sure, I'd love for us to have a three-way with my best friend.
13. Why don't you go out with your friends to see the strippers tonight?
14. I could never be with any other man, but I don't mind at all if you
    see other women.
15. I insist that you always put your mother before me.
16. I love a good cigar after sex.
17. I think we should spend our life savings and buy a big bass boat.
18. The smell of oil makes me horny. Let's do it on the workbench.
19. That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up babe.
    I wish I could meet her one day.
20. It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.
21. Oh yeah, any hole you want.
22. Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.
23. That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing. Wear it again.
24. Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all day.
25. You don't swear enough.
26. I love it when you finger me while you drive.
27. Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper
    and we can spend the money we save on beer.
28. Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside.
29. Sure, you can wear your old cowboy boots at our wedding.
    They go with anything.
30. Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team doesn't make that
    girl a slut! She's just really friendly.
31. I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it!
32. Hey, we didn't have sex last night!


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[From the archives]

Women like silent men. They think they're listening!