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He gave his now ex-wife just three days to move out.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and 
suitcases. On the second day, she had movers come to collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining-room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, 
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of 
Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of 
the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for 
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air 
fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... repairmen 
refused to work in the house... the maid quit... finally, they could
not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her
the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the small was, he agreed on 
a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... but 
only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and 
within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home... including the curtain rods.


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[Selected by Jim Griffith @ rec.humor.funny]

When a man steals your wife, there is no 
better revenge than to let him keep her.