Children at sea



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A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea."  
Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences.  
Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of 
the comments that were funny, and some that were sad. Here are some of
them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years:

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. 
- Kelly, age 6

Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown,
like my brother did last summer. - David, age 7

Oysters' balls are called pearls. 
- James, age 6

If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have 
sea all around you, you are incontinent. - Wayne, age 7

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like 
Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. - Kylie, age 6

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head. 
- Billy, age 6

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
- Millie, age 6

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans. - William, age 7

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.  
How do mermaids get pregnant? - Helen, age 7

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always 
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. 
- Amy, age 8

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers. - Christopher, age 7

My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. 
- Laura, age 5

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy
small. - Kevin, age 6

A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen
inside. - Emma, age 8

When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of
sailors. - Valerie, age 6

On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going 
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her
fanny. - Julie, age 7


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[Selected by Jim Griffith @ rec.humor.funny]

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