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Sophie did like she always does, kissing her husband, crawling into bed 
and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, she wakes up with an elderly man 
dressed in a white robe standing at the foot of her bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who are you?" 

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you 
are in heaven."

"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," 
said Sophie. "I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or 
a hen. The choice is yours."

Sophie thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog 
is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running
around with a rooster can't be that bad.

"I want to return as a hen," Sophie replied.

And in the next second, she found himself in a chicken run, really 
nicely feathered. But now she felt like her rear end was gonna blow. 
Then along came the rooster.

"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How 
do you like being a hen?"

"Well, okay, I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You 
need to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Sophie asked.

"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

Sophie clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 
'plop' an egg was on the ground.

"Wow" Sophie said. "That felt really good!" So she clucked again and 
squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the 
ground. The third time she clucked, she heard her husband shout: 

"Sophie!! For cryin' out loud! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"


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[Selected by Jim Griffith @ rec.humor.funny]

Tuna just doesn't taste the same anymore without dolphin...