You might be a Redneck Jedi if...



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You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

- you've ever heard the phrase "May the force be with ya'll".
- your beer belly puts Jabba the Hutt to shame.
- part of your X-Wing fighter is primer colored.
- you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
- you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
- you've ever given someone a wedgie by using the Force.
- your Jedi robe is a camouflage colour.
- you wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.
- a Wookie has told you that you need to shave.
- Gamorrean Guards are offended by your B.O.
- the Rancor monster has refused to eat you.
- you have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing.
- you've ever had an X-Wing up on blocks in your yard.
- you have ever used duct tape to make repairs on your land speeder.
- more than half the droids you own don't function.
- you have Bantha horns on the front of your land speeder and a
  blaster rack inside.
- the worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
- although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt 
  knows how to pick up good looking chicks had a pretty good handle on 
  how to treat his women.
- you call your young apprentice, "Juner" (junior).
- you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
- you call the Emporer "That old ugly dude in the house coat."
- the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.
- you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
- you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.
- you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.
- you wore burlap even before you started your Jedi training.
- your favorite meals on Dagoba incorporate native snakes.
- you wished that Admiral Ackbar was swimming in the pond on your farm 
  back home.
- you're flying a ship that has no original parts.
- you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
- you actually enjoyed seeing Princess Naboo get kicked off her throne
  and let a man rule the world.
- you use the Force to cheat at fishing, bowling, and spitting.
- you've argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
- you've gone AT-AT tipping.
- that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
- you bought hanging air fresheners for your friend's X-Wing.
- you've referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees!"
- you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and 
  a dark side and it holds the universe together.
- you've ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light or
  Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
- you consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
- you've ever taken a telephone pole down to test a lightsaber.
- you put your lightsaber down your pants to brag about your big dick.
- you brand cattle with a lightsaber.
- you've used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a DUI.
- you built an outhouse over the Sarlacc pit.
- you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.
- parts of a TIE fighter you blew up hang as a trophy in your living room.
- you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
- your moonshine is really made on a moon, and it's so well-hidded that 
  not even the Ewoks can find it.
- you've used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot 
  while vacationing on Hoth.
- you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
- you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
- your father has ever said to you, "Shoot son, come on over to the dark 
  side... it'll be a hoot!"
- you have a Confederate Flag painted on the hood of your land speeder.
- you've ever fantasized about Queen Amidala wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
- you have the doors of your X-Wing welded shut and you have to get in 
  through the window.
- your best practical joke was sticking a banana in Boba Fett's tail pipe.
- you have an uncle who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
- you were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
- you've been told, "Luke, I am your father... and also your uncle."
- and your father's name is Garth Vader!


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[Lifted off and compiled from various sites]

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, 
to steal ideas from many is research.