This is the story...
We'd go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow Airport, directly under one of the
PA speakers where we put a tape machine in a bag with the microphone poking out of the top.
Then we'd look for a flight that had arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where
you'd expect people with unpronounceable names, like Saudi Arabia or Morocco.
We would then go to the Airport Help Desk with a prewritten note containing the names of
fictitious passengers and ask them to read out the names over the PA system.
The passengers' names looked innocent enough on paper but they sounded like something else
when read out loud!
| Looks like... |
Sound |
Reads like... |
| Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed |
 |
I hate this fucking job,
and I will be fired... |
| Arjevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie |
|
I've just been fired,
and bye-bye everybody... |
| Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Krost |
|
I need a piss quick,
and my legs are crossed... |
| Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet |
|
Ah well, that feels better
and now I need a shit... |
| Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted |
|
My colleague just farted,
and left the room, the bastard... |
| Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee |
|
Still, I got my own back
and took a piss in his tea... |
We got rumbled doing the "My colleague just... etc." They actually threatened to arrest
us as apparently they'd received complaints over the previous weeks!
The last one ("Still, I got my own back...") was recorded at Gatwick airport which does not have
such a good sound system, and is generally a much noisier place, so that's why it sounds crap!
[From the personal archives]
