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I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples' fingers.

I'm so broke, my girlfriend and I got married for the rice.

I'm so broke, if a trip around the world cost a nickel, I wouldn't 
have enough to leave the couch!

I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's and put a small fry on
lay-bye.

I'm so broke, just to rub two pennies together, I'd have to borrow one.

I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back.

I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention!

We were so broke, when someone saw my Mom walking down the street with 
one shoe, they said, "Hey, you lost a shoe." She said, "No, I found one".

We were so broke, that at Christmas, all we could exchange was glances.

We're so broke that if someone rings our doorbell, I had to yell 
"Ding Dong!" out the window.

If pickles were 10c a truckload I couldn't buy a wart off a cucumber!

Someone saw me kicking a can down the street, and when asked what I was
doing I said, "Moving".

A guy walked into our house, stepped on a cigarette and my Mom yelled, 
"Who turned off the heat?"


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[Contributed by Peter]