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Time to update your Thesaurus...


coffee (n.), person who is coughed upon.

flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

abdicate (v.), to give up hope of having a flat stomach.

esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

negligent (adj.), condition in which you absentmindedly answer the 
                  door in your underwear.

lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up when run over 
                 by a steamroller.

balderdash (n.), rapidly receding hairline.

testicle (n.), humorous question on an exam.

rectitude (n.), formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist 
                before examining you.

oyster (n.), person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish 
             expressions.

circumvent (n.), opening in the front of boxer shorts.

pokemon (n), Jamaican proctologist.


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[Contributed by Peter]