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A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of 
breasts:

In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons - round and firm.

In her thirties to forties, they are like pears - still nice but hanging 
a bit.

After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them - they make you cry!"





A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of willies are 
there?"

The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through 
three phases:

In a man's twenties, a man's willy is like an oak - mighty and hard.

In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch - flexible but reliable.

After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, all dried up - and the balls are there for decoration only."


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[Contributed by Peter]