The perks of getting older


 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
 3. No one expects you to run - anywhere.
 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
 8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
 9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into
    the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
    weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
    them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Text contributed by Bob]