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The TRUE Stella Awards -- 2002 Winners
Unlike the FAKE cases that have been highly circulated online for the
last several years (see http://www.StellaAwards.com/bogus.html for
details), the following cases have been researched from public sources
and are confirmed TRUE by the ONLY legitimate source for the Stella
Awards: www.StellaAwards.com . To confirm this copy is legitimate, see
http://www.StellaAwards.com/2002.html
-v-
#7: Attorney Philip Shafer of Ashland, Ohio, flew on Delta Airlines from
New Orleans to Cincinnati and was given a seat, he says, next to a fat
man. "He was a huge man," Shafer says. "He and I [were] literally and
figuratively married from the right kneecap to the shoulder for two
hours." He therefore "suffered embarrassment, severe discomfort,
mental anguish and severe emotional distress," he claims in a lawsuit
against the airline. Shafer figures this embarrassment, discomfort,
mental anguish and emotional distress could be cured by a $9,500
payment from Delta. If Shafer isn't careful, that might be dwarfed by
the divorce settlement his "huge" (seat)mate might demand.
#6: "The Godfather of Soul" James Brown has a "grudge" against his
daughters Deanna Brown Thomas and Yamma Brown Lumar, they allege. They
say Brown "vowed to the media that his daughters will never get a dime
from him" and "James Brown has kept his word." So they have done what
any kid would do when cut off from their rich daddy's bank account:
they sued him for more than $1 million, claiming that they are owed
royalties on 25 of his songs which, they say, they helped him write
even though, at the time, they were children. For instance, when
Brown's 1976 hit "Get Up Offa That Thing" was a chart-topper, the
girls were aged 3 and 6. It's enough to make Brown switch to the
Blues.
#5: Utah prison inmate Robert Paul Rice, serving 1-15 years on multiple
felonies, sued the Utah Department of Corrections claiming the prison
was not letting him practice his religion: "Druidic Vampire". Rice
claimed that to do that, he must be allowed sexual access to a
"vampress". In addition, the prison isn't supplying his specific
"vampiric dietary needs" (yes: blood). Records show that Rice
registered as a Catholic when he was imprisoned in 2000. "Without any
question we do not have conjugal visits in Utah," said a prison
spokesman when the suit was thrown out. Which just goes to prove
prison life sucks.
#4: Every time you visit your doctor, you're told the same old things:
eat less, exercise more, stop smoking. Do you listen? Neither did
Kathleen Ann McCormick. The obese, cigarette-smoking woman from
Wilkes-Barre, Penn., had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a
family history of coronary artery disease. Yet doctors at the
Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Center "did not do enough" to
convince her to work to improve her own health. Unsurprisingly, she
had a heart attack which, she says in a federal lawsuit, left her a
"cardiac invalid". In addition to eight doctors, she's suing their
employer -- the U.S. government -- demanding a minimum of $1 million
in compensation.
#3: In 1997 Bob Craft, then 39, of Hot Springs, Montana, changed his name
to Jack Ass. Now, he says that MTV's TV show and movie "Jackass" was
"plagiarized" from him, infringes his trademarks and copyrights, and
that this has demeaned, denigrated and damaged his public image. No
attorney would take the case, so he has filed suit on his own against
MTV's corporate parent, demanding $50 million in damages. If nothing
else, Jack Ass has proved he chose his name well.
#2: Hazel Norton of Rolling Fork, Miss., read there was a class action
suit against the drug Propulsid, which her doctor had prescribed to
her for a digestive disorder. Despite admitting that "I didn't get
hurt by Propulsid," Norton thought "I might get a couple of thousand
dollars" by joining the lawsuit. When her doctor was named in the
suit, he quit his Mississippi practice -- where he was serving the
poor. He left with his wife, a pediatrician and internist. That left
only two doctors practicing at the local hospital. So while Norton
wasn't harmed by the drug, all her neighbors now get to suffer from
drastically reduced access to medical care because of her greed.
AND THE WINNER of the 2002 True Stella Awards: sisters Janice Bird, Dayle
Bird Edgmon and Kim Bird Moran sued their mother's doctors and a
hospital after Janice accompanied her mother, Nita Bird, to a minor
medical procedure. When something went wrong, Janice and Dayle
witnessed doctors rushing their mother to emergency surgery. Rather
that suing for malpractice, the lawsuit claimed "negligent infliction
of emotional distress" -- not for causing distress to their mother,
but for causing distress to THEM for having to SEE the doctors rushing
to help their mother. The case was fought all the way to the
California Supreme Court, which finally ruled against the women. Which
is a good thing, since if they had prevailed doctors and hospitals
would have had no choice but to keep YOU from being anywhere near your
family members during medical procedures just in case something goes
wrong. In their greed, the Bird sisters risked everyone's right to
have family members with them in emergencies.
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[Courtesy of Randy Cassingham]
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