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He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

He said: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to 
         you really badly.
She said: Well, you succeeded.

He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I 
          sit on the sofa and fart!

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said: I would, but you are never there!


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[Contributed by Peter (who's married)]