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 Man:   Haven't I seen you someplace before?
 Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
 Man:   Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls
        you a fat slut.

 Man:   Is this seat empty?
 Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
 Man:   There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my cock
        just yet, we've only just met!!!

 Man:   Your place or mine?
 Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
 Man:   That's cool, 'cause after I'm done shagging you in the
        back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.

 Man:   So, what do you do for a living?
 Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
 Man:   That explains the moustache then!

 Man:   How do you like your eggs in the morning?
 Woman: Unfertilized.
 Man:   No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

 Man:   I would go to the end of the world for you.
 Woman: But would you stay there?
 Man:   Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that
        is impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

 Man:   Would you like to dance?
 Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
 Man:   I think you mis-heard me. I said your arse looks fat
        in that skirt.

 Man:   Where have you been all my life?
 Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
 Man:   Just as well, 'cos I've been shagging your mum while your
        dad's been paying me to watch!

 Man:   You're pretty...
 Woman: Piss off.
 Man:   Don't interrupt! Now, as I was trying to say: You're
        pretty ugly, you fat bitch.


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[Contributed by Peter]