Housekeeping Hints for Real Women



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The Good Housekeeping Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent 
ice cream drips.

The Real Women's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. 
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

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The Good Housekeeping Way  #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with 
the potatoes.

The Real Women's Way
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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The Good Housekeeping Way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the 
dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside 
of the cake.

The Real Women's Way
The Cheese Cake Shop sells cakes. They even do decorated versions.

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The Good Housekeeping Way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,  
drop in a potato slice.

The Real Women's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit.  
Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will 
eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

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The Good Housekeeping Way #5
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and 
it will keep for weeks.

The Real  Women's Way
I don't care if it could keep forever, I don't eat it!

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The Good Housekeeping Way #6
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield   
beautiful glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg  
whites over the crust so I don't do that either.

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The Good Housekeeping Way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your 
forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 2 ounces 
of tequila. Drink the Tequila. You might still have the headache, but 
at least you will be too drunk to give a shit.

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The Good Housekeeping Way #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing  
gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way
Go ask mister tight-arse cute-legs, single neighbour to do it for you.

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The Good Housekeeping Way #9
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles 
and sauces.

The Real Women's Way
Leftover wine????? What leftover wine???????


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[Submitted by Peter]