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A recent magazine survey interviewed fifty bartenders, and they were
asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks
they ordered.
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
- Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
- Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
- Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
- Imported Beer: He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
- Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
- Water: He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of
his mouth so that he can still get laid.
- Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated
image and help him get laid.
- Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf.
Desperate to get laid.
- Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to
get laid.
- Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit
anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
- Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
into getting laid.
- Rum or Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
- Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped
change.
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