Drink survey of men



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A recent magazine survey interviewed fifty bartenders, and they were 
asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks 
they ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:


- Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

- Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

- Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

- Imported Beer: He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

- Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

- Water: He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of
  his mouth so that he can still get laid.

- Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated 
  image and help him get laid.

- Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf.
  Desperate to get laid.

- Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to
  get laid.

- Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit
  anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

- Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
  about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
  into getting laid.

- Rum or Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

- Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
  He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped
  change.


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