------------------------------------------------------------------------


1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD... SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!
[The DJ has to play for more than one person... so what you hate may
be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to,
one way or another, dumbass!]

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"!
[Get real! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some
sort of BEAT!]

3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG,
BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....
[PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. We have to put up with smoke filled 
rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long... Do us a favour 
and DON'T give us a rendition of your favorite song, however good you 
might think you are... dipshit!]

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!
[Oh, sure... you just polled everyone in the club and, as their
spokesperson, you're requesting the song.]

5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!
[The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in your theory!]

6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!
[Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month,
wanker!]

7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!
[The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's
paycheck!]

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
[It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what
you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record 
in the box!]

9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!
[It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some
people do anyway)! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, 
it STILL contradicts the statement!]

10. PLAY IT SOON BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!
[If you're gonna leave after I play it, why shouldn't I wait until the
very last song so you can stay all night? Moron!]