Absurd signage



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In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a radiator repair shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a nonsmoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a
car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a dry cleaner's emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd
one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. 
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what
you've got."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and
get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can
eat any place they want."